During the season of madness, leading up to Halloween, when the were-coyotes come at midnight, ringing the sleepy and unsuspecting towns of Arizona, waiting patiently as they scan for movement with reddened eyes and resist the urge to snap their slavering jaws, the towns of Winkelman and Hayden are organizing their own brand of celebration.
As the days get close to the dreadful eve, children fueled up on frightening films begin to imagine the worst things. They begin to believe in the things that seem silly at other times, from fanged goat-sucking beasts that roam the desert wilderness to things that live under their bed, slithering and chittering. What are those things? Giant, hairy, hungry spiders? Mutant snakes?
We don’t want you to worry this Halloween season. We want you to be very relaxed and have a few tips for what to do, where to do it and how to behave so as to get through as safely and sanely as possible.
Halloween Fun Night will be held at Leonor Hambly K-8 on Thursday, Oct. 26, from 5:30 p.m. through 8 p.m. There will be food ready and booths open as soon as it begins. That’s what they tell us. Food, games, a petting zoo – no coyotes invited – and an (unpoisoned) cake walk, DJ music and costume contest. Buy and reserve your tickets at the office to this seemingly innocent fun to avoid the long lines. Stay inside the perimeter of the towns and attend this wholesome event.
On Saturday, Oct. 28 the Winkelman Haunted House and costume contest will be held at 206 Giffin Ave. Don’t look behind the house, whatever you do, Ignore the slithering sounds. It’s nothing. Seriously! Don’t look! Also, it is best not to wonder why Giffin is spelled almost like Griffin.
On Tuesday, Oct. 31, things will get weird. So weird that the Leonor Hambly K-8 Halloween Spook Walk starts at 8:45 a.m. A great time to avoid the were-coyotes and the ankle gnawing death bunnies, but a terrible time to walk past the sewer grates. Ignore the chittering. The slithering things, back at home now, also love a tasty ankle. They are afraid of the light. Don’t get too close to the grate and you should make it home ali.., that is, in time to prepare for the festivities still to come!
The adults will gather early to prepare for the terror they will unleash. Watch them as they gather in their configurations, loading the trunks of their vehicles with who knows what evils? Ask them to look inside and they will tell you, “Wait! Just wait… soon, you will see and you will have a treat.” Are they talking to you, though, or what lurks inside?
What will be lurking there? La Chupacabra? Maybe. It had to be kept somewhere while the petting zoo was around! The were-coyotes? The slithering things? Come to Halloween Trunk or Treat at the Hayden High School parking lot, from 5 p.m. to 7 p.m., and take your chances. Candy or mayhem? Mayhem or candy?
Come early. Step right up. Watch as the lid of each trunk rises and the lights shine in to reveal the red … of a maddened eye or a Kit Kat wrapper? Step back. Wait. Oh, what a surprise waits to be revealed. See you there!